"On Call"
It would be laughable, if not true,
How much my little DNA sequence
has always wanted to just drop into its groove
and sit very contentedly in my body.
Every step of the way
my attempts to resist the power of my genetic code
seemed admirable, occasionally helpful,
but mostly futile.
“Oh, now I understand!”
my first college girlfriend exclaimed
after meeting my Father.
I remember asking my Mother when Dad usually had dessert.
“Like clockwork—
right before a hot shower and bed.”
I smiled.
When I was much younger, a family friend asked,
“And what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“NOT a doctor,” I immediately replied.
“Why in heaven not? It’s such an exciting profession.”
“And be On Call and woken up in the middle of the night,
night after night, like my Dad?
No thanks.”
It would be laughable, if not true,
to notice how much I turned out
just like my ever-diligent Dad,
Despite my best efforts to be my own boss,
fulfill my own vision, and
preserve my precious sleep.
On Call: available 24/7 to make
Life and Death decisions.
Or maybe,
just nostalgia for those Glory Days of medical school,
when temporary dementia was encouraged
to entertain the faculty, who
merely missed The War.
So, what would you call—
coming out of a concert
and hearing your own band play a new piece
through your feet?
seeing birds circle overhead
and writing a poem about their wisdom?
listening to Dr. King
and knowing he wanted part of his speech set to music?
hearing a quip that your partner made about cheese
and turning that into a spy thriller?
Many people see, hear, and experience things that
inspire them.
They may talk with a friend about the moment that
called forth their Spirit.
Some may even begin a song, a painting, a poem, or a dance
about that moment.
When you’re On Call,
you don’t just leave the patient with a diagnosis—
you take them through the whole process of getting well.
It may be quick, or more often,
take many twists and turns,
But the song, painting, poem, or dance does get completed.
It is not left to languish in an empty hospital ward.
Your piece may refuse to reveal itself—
better suspend your expectations.
Your piece may demand more mastery—
time to seek guidance from the wise.
Your piece may call forth a larger vision—
you'll need to investigate unfamiliar traditions and artists.
It would be laughable, if not true,
to realize how thoroughly I’ve embraced being
On Call.
“There is beauty everywhere,
but few can see it.” (the sage said)
“There is humor everywhere,
but few are smiling.” (the sage thought)
“There is inspiration everywhere,
but few reveal it.” (the sage knew)
December 2010
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©2010,
Michael Smolens |