"Dear Miss Spell Checker"
Dear Miss Spell Checker,
I think I love you.
You allow me to constantly make our noble English
wrong wrong wrong
with its consistently inconsistent spellings.
And to this I say,
with impunity and full justification,
without shame or public conceit.
You let me be a covert ally to every schoolchild
(and struggling adult)
about this absurdity,
Whose spelling offenses are surely no worse
than our criminal tax code
and criminals needlessly taxing our courts.
And yet,
you make everything look
Perfect.
As if the Gods imbued me with
syntactical intuition that only an
Old Money upbringing could afford.
Still,
you do this without the slightest protest,
no hint of judgement,
no sign of impropriety,
As if this was a civic duty that your Creator
endowed upon you.
Dear Miss Spell Checker,
I think I love you.
April 2020